The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. Those who walk alone are likely to find themselves in places no one has ever seen before.” – Francis Phillip Wernig
Can’t we just be kind?
“Bullies, Be Gone!”
I didn’t know I was neurodiverse until a few years ago, but I always knew I was different. While others breezed through things that left me baffled, I found myself excelling in areas that seemed to stump everyone else. Yet, instead of embracing these differences, I was constantly poked and prodded to fit in, to be more “normal.” People around me …. even those I trusted …. would offer ‘friendly’ advice, not realising how much it hurt. Every time I tried to fit in, I ended up exhausted and miserable, and life just seemed to get harder.
The worst part? The very people I thought cared about me would often do things that triggered my neurodiverse traits and then laugh at my expense. It took me a long time to realise that wasn’t kindness, and in a world where not everyone has the privilege of a diagnosis, we should all just be kind, because we never really know what someone’s going through (Neurodiverse or Not!).
For years, I took phrases like “give 100%” to mean sacrificing everything at the expense of myself, rather than doing the best I could given whatever else was going on. I pushed myself to the brink and kicked myself for everything I couldn’t do. Finding out I was neurodiverse was like the biggest painful relief—suddenly, life made sense, and I could stop beating myself up. But that didn’t magically stop the bullies or the ‘friendly’ help. What it did do was make me more aware of what I wasn’t willing to put up with anymore. I made some life changes, cut out a lot of negativity, and guess what? Life has been on an upward trajectory ever since.
So here’s the thing: if you’re feeling different and people are trying to change you, remember that life gets a whole lot better when you’re true to yourself. The energy spent trying to fit in is better used embracing who you really are. And for anyone who thinks poking fun or offering unsolicited advice is helping …. it’s not!!! The world needs more kindness, and it starts with understanding that being different isn’t just okay ….. it’s what makes life interesting.
The Quirky Geniuses Who Changed the World
When it comes to innovation, being a little bit (or a lot) different isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. History is full of quirky geniuses who did something different and, in doing so, transformed the world. Here are five of my favourite trailblazers in science and technology who embraced their uniqueness and left an undisputable mark on history
- Charles Babbage
Often called the “father of the computer,” Babbage didn’t just think outside the box—he invented the box. His designs for the Analytical Engine laid the groundwork for modern computing, even though his eccentricities often left people scratching their heads. - Steve Jobs:
The co-founder of Apple didn’t just revolutionise technology …. he redefined what it means to innovate. Jobs was known for his perfectionism, his eye for design, and his ability to see the future of tech in ways that others couldn’t. His relentless pursuit of “insanely great” products changed the way we live and communicate. - Nikola Tesla
The man who lit up the world—literally. Tesla’s contributions to electrical engineering were ground-breaking, but his quirks were legendary. From his obsession with pigeons to his habit of staying up all night, Tesla’s unique approach to life and science made him one of the most fascinating inventors in history. - Ada Lovelace
The first computer programmer wasn’t just ahead of her time …. she was in a league of her own. Ada Lovelace saw the potential of Babbage’s Analytical Engine long before anyone else, envisioning a future where machines could perform complex calculations and even create art. Her visionary work laid the foundation for modern programming. - Alan Turing
The man who helped win World War II was also one of the most unique minds in history. Turing’s work in mathematics and computing was revolutionary, and his ability to think differently led to the development of the modern computer. Despite the challenges he faced, Turing’s legacy continues to inspire generations of scientists and technologists.
Creativity is My *Not So Secret* Superpower
If there’s one thing that’s made a difference in my career … it’s creativity. In the world of digital forensics, where you’re often dealing with unusual devices and complex problems, creativity is what helps me look at things from new angles and find solutions that others might miss. It’s directly led to the development of a framework for analysing unusual devices …. something I’m particularly proud of.
Creativity isn’t just a tool for solving problems, it’s also a gift in teaching and education. It’s helped me put a unique spin on gamification and outreach, creating fiendish scenarios for my scene room that keep people engaged and learning. My research designs are often met with questions like, “How did you come up with that?” … A testament to the unique ideas that spring from a creative mind. This creativity has earned me many awards and heartwarming feedback …. and I’m so proud it’s enabled me to solve digital forensics problems that stumped others.
My creativity isn’t just a skill …. it really is my superpower. It’s the thing that sets me apart, allowing me to make a real impact in my field and in the classroom. It’s the key to everything I do, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Creative vs. Imaginative … The Neurodiverse Perspective
For a long time, I considered myself imaginative. I thought my ability to come up with ideas meant I was a daydreaming wizard. But after my diagnosis, during a workshop, I was told something that made everything click …. I’m not imaginative …. I’m creative. At first, this was a bit of a shock. But then it made perfect sense. My neurodiverse brain isn’t wired to pull ideas out of thin air, which explains why I could build intricate houses in The Sims but got bored of free play quickly (but wow did I quickly complete and love Sims Life Stories!). I need building blocks …. something to work with. Give me a problem, or a set of objectives, and I can creatively develop a solution …. but hand me a blank slate and ask me to invent something entirely new? That’s where the frustration kicks in!!!
I’ve come to realise that my creativity is all about rearranging existing pieces into something new and unique. When I daydream, it’s not about conjuring up wild fantasies … it’s about reorganising concepts I’ve seen, read, or experienced into something that fits what I’m doing. Whether it’s research, investigations, or developing fun new projects, I’m pulling from a mental library of ideas and putting them together in ways that make sense for the task at hand.
For example, when developing an interactive resource for my crime scene room, I enlisted the help of some electronics experts. They asked me what I wanted to do, expecting me to have a vision. Instead, I asked them to tell me what components were available, and I’d develop a solution from them. That’s how my brain works—I need the building blocks to spark my creativity.
Neurodiverse individuals often lean more towards creativity than imagination. We excel at taking the pieces we’re given and crafting them into something extraordinary, but we might struggle to dream up entirely new concepts from scratch. And while it’s no bad thing to be creative without being imaginative, I can’t help but be a little jealous of those who can do both!!!!!!! They’re the ones who can dream up a world and then build it, brick by brick. But hey, we all have our strengths, and creativity is mine!
Celebrating My Quirks
There was a long time when being different felt like a burden …. something to hide or downplay to fit in. But now? I wouldn’t trade my quirks for anything!!! Embracing my differences has been one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done, and it’s transformed my life in ways I never imagined.
Understanding my neurodiversity was a game-changer. It wasn’t just a diagnosis – it was a revelation that the things I once saw as flaws were actually my superpowers. These quirks are what make me unique, driving my creativity, fueling my passion, and allowing me to see the world in ways that others might miss.
Embracing my quirks has also led to significant personal growth. It opened doors I never thought possible and allowed me to build a life that truly aligns with who I am. Instead of trying to conform, I now celebrate the fact that I think differently. It’s what has allowed me to carve out a career I love, where I get to solve problems, create innovative solutions, and embrace my geeky side without apology!!!
Connecting with others who also celebrate their quirks has brought me a sense of belonging and strengthened my resolve. It’s empowering to know that there’s a community of people who not only understand but appreciate what makes us different. It’s one of the many reasons why I love my teddy bear mad friends and the home I’ve found at Southampton.
Through this journey, whilst its had ups and downs I’ve also built resilience. Embracing my quirks has made me more adaptable, confident, and ready to tackle challenges head-on. The moment I stopped worrying about fitting in and started focusing on standing out, life got a whole lot better. Now I focus on being me, and being a unicorn. I know as a unicorn I’m not for everyone, and that’s ok, because no one who changes the world can be.
Dear Younger Me (or Reader … Given Time Travel still seems unlikely)
Hey, younger me …. there’s a few things I wish I could tell you.
First off, you don’t know it yet, but one day you’ll rock bright red phoenix hair, and you’ll love it …. it’ll make you look every bit the cartoon superhero you are. And guess what? You’ll achieve your lifelong dream of becoming a professor, even if the path seems a bit bumpy right now, and at points gets so bumpy the world seems beyond dark and hopeless.
I know being different feels like a burden, like a heavy cloak you’re trying to shrug off to fit in. But here’s the truth: that cloak? It’s actually a cape. Your quirks are your superpowers, even if they don’t feel that way just yet.
Life’s going to throw some curveballs …. people will try to change you, make you into something you’re not. Often I think they were trying to be helpful, because they believed that normal is necessary to succeed and be happy …. But trust me …. trying to fit into their view of what you need to be will only make you miserable! The real magic happens when you embrace who you are. The things that make you feel out of place now are the very things that will set you apart later. They’ll lead you to a career you love, to communities where you belong, and to a life that’s uniquely yours.
And to all the people out there who feel like you’re too different, too weird, or just too much … let me tell you something …. the world needs more of you!!! Your uniqueness is your strength. While others might try to put you in a box, remember that you don’t have to stay there (or you could try to work out your relationship to the box Hannah Gadsby Style). Being different doesn’t mean you’re wrong …. it means you’re exactly what this world needs.
Bullying hurts ….. I won’t and I can’t sugarcoat that …. but it doesn’t define you. Bullying is also not always the same. Often, people have no idea they are treating you in a way which is bullying, and whilst that doesn’t make their actions anymore acceptable, the moment you come to that realisation, that they have no clue the impact of their behaviour, wow is it a relief!
The very qualities that others might tease you for are the ones that will make you extraordinary. Keep being curious, keep asking questions, and keep dreaming big. Your creativity, your passion, your unique way of seeing the world …. these are gifts. Don’t let anyone dull your shine. Embrace your inner Unicorn and set them free as often as possible.
Surround yourself with people who celebrate your quirks, who lift you up, and who see the value in your differences. And when things get tough, remember that you are resilient, and you have the power to rise above. You’re not just a weirdo …. you’re an incredible weirdo, and that’s something to be incredibly proud of.
So, keep your head high, your heart open, and never stop being the amazing, unique, and powerful person you are. The world is waiting for you to make your mark, and trust me ….. you will!!!
